a month without milk

They’re back. After 13 days (and 13 nights) my kids are home from their grandparent’s camp. They left the day after we returned from a 2 week family camping trip (see previous post) and so needless to say, the last month has been completely out of the ordinary. Look, I have more experience than the…

Settling In

For 14 days and 14 nights, this was my view. Trees. A scrape of sky.  Firepit flames. I shared a tent with my two kids, within arms reach of the tent my partner shared with his son, and for 14 days and 14 nights I barely spoke to another person. (Red squirrels, chipmunks and fungus…

Treading Water (2009)

Treading Water, without a care in the world. Sun warming my face, waves lapping at my shoulders creating rhythm through my body. Arms and legs building strength moving in simultaneous determination. Looking straight ahead knowing full-well there will not be a lifeboat to find me. Treading water in perfect rhythm  with no intention of stopping….

Connecting the dots…

Let’s balance our thoughts and put them down on paper mixed up, messed up art. ~e •••••••••••••connect••••••••••••• The crows. They greet me in the woods outside my cabin door. They call to me in constant chorus throughout the evening and into the first break of day. They grieve. Their loss hangs in the air. “Listen…

Guilty Pleasures

The other day I was talking to someone about some projects I’m working on and was told, “You are lucky to have so much free time for your hobbies.” Stop. The. Bus. Instantly, millions of tiny defence mechanisms started swimming through my veins making me all hot and itchy. I muttered some sort of response…

Good Grief

I’ve been thinking a lot about grief lately. (full disclosure: I’m always thinking a lot about grief). I don’t want to brag, but I’m kind of a grief expert. It’s been a constant presence in our lives for over three years and I’ve studied it from all angles. Well… I’ve studied our own grief. It so…

Summertime and the livin’s easy.

I’m pretty sure that my boyfriend had his son’s summer fully planned (campgrounds booked, summer camps registered, family visits scheduled) in March.  I’m also pretty sure that was when I was first asked to submit my own summer vacation requests at work. Yo guys. It’s still snowing. I can barely make plans to put on…

Three Years…

Dear Hoop, This coming Saturday marks three years since your death. Three years of replaying every last conversation we had. Three years of seeing you through my rearview mirror as you buckled up the kids and said good-bye for the last time. Three years of watching you live and breathe in our kids. Three years…

March is for madness.

  I don’t know about you but I am not at my best in March. All of my strategies to get through the long dark winter have been tossed aside along with the chip wrappers, wine bottles and dirty casserole dishes. I’m tired. I’m hiding an extra layer of fat under my sweat pants and…

i am your willow

i am your willow and i will keep you safe. i will bend. i will adjust. i will surrender: to the process to the storm to myself i will flex to the best of my abilities and i will not break. i will wrap myself around you, and weep with you through joy and grief. i…