Happy birthday – the kids are alright.

Happy birthday Jason, This year we celebrated your day in typical birthday style; with your favourite food (meat!) and a round of “Happy Birthday Dad” before diving into cake. As always, we talked about you lots (do your ears burn in the afterlife?) and shared funny memories, most of which have been told millions of…

Three Years…

Dear Hoop, This coming Saturday marks three years since your death. Three years of replaying every last conversation we had. Three years of seeing you through my rearview mirror as you buckled up the kids and said good-bye for the last time. Three years of watching you live and breathe in our kids. Three years…

Approaching Doomsday

A couple weeks ago, one of the kids asked me how long it had been since…you know.. Daddy… I said that we were coming up to 2 years. “What’s the date?” “May 6th” “I don’t want that day to come. I don’t want it to be another year without him.” From that point on, it’s…

Unicorns – by Moxie

On Monday morning, first day of March Break, I was in the bathtub getting ready for the day when Moxie (my 9 year old) came in and sat on the floor beside me. “Mom, I wrote this thing a while ago but just decided that I wanted to share it with you,” In my head…

#BellLetstalk Day (2016)

It’s #BellLetsTalk Day (2016) and instead of writing another full post about how mental health has impacted our family, I’ll let my previous writing speak for itself. Regardless of whether you become involved in this campaign, I do encourage everyone to keep talking about mental health.  I wish I had insisted on more of those…

Happy Birthday Jason!

Today is your 44th birthday and to celebrate we had meat and cake for dinner (as per very specific requests). No fancy party hats or horns like last year but I did give a gift to all of us: a Rhodonite stone. Rain saw them at the store a couple weeks ago. (He has recently…

In the Words of Bob Dylan, “Play it Fu**ing Loud!”

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of Jason’s death.  (oh, what a year it has been…) As another way to remember and honour their dad,  I made a CD for Rain and Moxie (with the help of some close friends and family) which included some of his favourite songs.  We have since listened to this playlist…

#BellLetsTalk Day

January 28th, 2015 is Bell Let’s Talk Day; A day to talk openly about mental health issues. January 28th, 2015 also marks 267 days since Jason (my ex-partner and father of our kids) took his life. 267 days of grief. 267 days of heaviness that fades but never goes away. 267 days of regret. I’ve…

Stigma Fighters

Last week I was approached by Stigma Fighters: a blog series about real people living with mental illness. Sarah Fader, the founder asked if I would write an article about my own experience. I submitted this piece about Jason’s death, in particular the first 24 hours after getting the news. Stigma Fighters is about to…

Dear Jerk (6 months later)

Yes. You’re still a jerk. The kids and I had a soul-satisfying summer. We went on a 3-week road trip/pilgrimage across Western Canada. It was an amazing journey of healing for all of us. We grieved for you daily but felt strong and connected. “Look at us. We’ve got our shit together!” Then September bitch…