Big Bash Blues – GRTTaK

My friend Alison recently introduced me to the show: GrownUps Read Things They Wrote as Kids.   It’s an open mic and podcast of (say it with me) Grown-Ups Reading Things They Wrote as Kids.  Yup. It’s that simple.  And it is awesome.

After I listened to my first episode on CBC, Alison texted me and said “The show is coming to Toronto.  Let’s go!”

She ordered us tickets while I perused the website.  The opportunity to read a piece of writing from my childhood jumped out at me.  I was pretty sure I saved some old writing material (in the depths of my parent’s basement – where it most likely belongs).. But before I could talk myself out of it, I signed myself up.  (**GULP!!)

Reading this story was less about the actual story and more about me stepping on stage and out of my comfort zone.  It was about me being vulnerable … in public.  It’s easy to write stories from the safety of my living room posting them for for thousands (okay well, 20) invisible readers. But taking something that I have written (particularly something I wrote as a teenager) and reading it out loud in front of a room full of actual people with nothing to hide behind besides a microphone was taking things to a whole new level.

Thankfully this room full of strangers turned out to be an incredibly supportive bunch and I felt  more like a member of secret cult community. I have always wanted to join a geeky cool club that meets in the back of a comic book store (or this case, the back of a bar).

Special thanks to Dan Misener and the lovely Jenna for their own kindness through this experience.

I urge you to check out their website, subscribe to their podcasts on iTunes and follow them on Twitter.  This shit is funny.  Really.  Really. funny.

Okay enough of this self-reflective mumbo jumbo – check out the YouTube of my recording followed by the transcribed version:

Intro:

This is a short story I wrote as part of a highschool English assignment. I believe I was in my OAC year (which translates to grade 13).

It’s called Big Bash Blues and it’s about how to throw a party when your parents leave you home alone. And more importantly, how to cover your tracks.

I don’t remember writing this story but I do remember the party.. well parts of it…

The funniest part is that at the bottom of the story I had to get a Peer Review and the comment left from my friend (who had been to this party) was: “Next time don’t have your party on a Sunday.” You see, Monday had been a bit rough for a bunch of my friends who one by one had gone home sick from school…

Big Bash Blues

It’s inevitable that sometime during your life you will decide to throw a party. Chances are that it will be during your high school career without your parents knowledge and there are certain things that you should be prepared for. People will do strange things at parties and you always have to keep an eye out for when they decide to glue catalogues on the counter, run around the house and have a water fight, stick beer labels to the wall or bang on a door so hard that it breaks, locking nine people inside a small room.

However once the party is finished and everyone has finally gone home the first thing you will notice is that your house will look as if it had been hit by a tornado. You will not only find cigarette butts everywhere, but you will also find beer caps, chips, pop cans, ashes, clothes and even spaghetti from a very messy spaghetti fight. Cleaning up will seem an impossible never-ending job. No matter how many times you’ve cleaned a room, chances are you’ve still missed some incriminating evidence of your big bash, so keep cleaning.

When your parents come home they will probably be expecting something to have gone wrong. They’ll ask a million questions and wait for you to cross stories or say something completely unbelievable. Once that happens you are doomed to a life of interrogation. You’ll have to think of fast excuses for every misplaced blanket, empty chip bag and how on earth you ever got spaghetti on your curtain.

However, unless you are a great liar or your parents are really gullible, they’ll probably catch on to your excuses soon enough. They’ll realize that the yellowish liquid on the counter is not from you and your girlfriends making facials. They’ll know about your rocking house party and they won’t be impressed. You’ll get grounded, lose their trust and they’ll never let you stay home alone again. Of course you might not mind a few weekends to recover. As far as not staying home alone, do you really want to go through all of that again anyway?

So once you’ve finished partying, cleaning, lying and being grounded there’s only one more question; was it worth it? I can almost guarantee your answer will be yes. Because having a party is something that you can’t go through life without doing. And now that you’ve had one, you’ll never have to do it again.

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@pixiepaperdoll7

me reading at GrownUps Read Things They Wrote as Kids (GRTTWak)

me, Alison and Paula at GrownUps Read Things They Wrote as Kids (GRTTWak)